It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
