.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
