Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize