We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
