spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
it was like his penis was on wheels.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
