Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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