i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
