Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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