I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
