I've blown a few things in my day
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
