im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Randomize
