if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
