shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
