sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
