why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
