your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
