I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize