I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
