I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
