these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
