Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
