sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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