Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You were trust falling into bushes
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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