so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
