I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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