I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
They took my balls.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
