So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
