what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
