He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
