apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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