So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
