ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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