i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
