obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
