just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
