Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
