Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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