bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
