i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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