so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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