Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
