would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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