I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize