I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
