Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
