u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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