ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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