she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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