my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
