she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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