I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
