I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
