Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
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