ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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