i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
